REVEREND RALPH’S FINAL MOCK DRAFT 3.0
The cards are in and here’s how it’s going to shake out, as fans across the world sit and wait with restless anticipation this upcoming weekend at the 2013 NFL Draft in New York City.
1. KANSAS CITY: OT LUKE JOECKEL (TEXAS A&M)-No drama in this war room, as Andy Reid and John Dorsey sit back and enjoy their favorite beverages.
2. JACKSONVILLE:OT ERIC FISHER (CENTRAL MICHIGAN)-New GM David Caldwell doesn’t want to screw this up and goes with the promising tackle. Pass rushers will soon learn that once Fisher gets his hands on you---it’s over.
3. OAKLAND:DT SHARIFF FLOYD (FLORIDA)-The Silver and Black probably will---and should---trade down given their multiple needs and lack of a second round pick. But if they stay put, the Philly native is a devastating penetrator.
4. PHILADELPHIA:OT LANE JOHNSON (OKLAHOMA)-If the Iggles have any hopes of Michael Vick surviving even eight games, it’s best that they add some Grade-A beef to the front lines.
5. DETROIT: CB DEE MILLINER (ALABAMA)-The rangy corner has covered some good ones in the SEC and the Lions will need his services with the likes of Brandon Marshall, Greg Jennings and Jordy Nelson in their division.
6. CLEVELAND: OLB DION JORDAN (OREGON)-The Browns front office overlooks the former Duck’s lack of strength, as visions of the next Jason Taylor dance in their heads.
7. ARIZONA: OLB BARKEVIOUS “KEKE” MINGO (LSU)-The Cards want their own body beautiful, boom-or-bust pass rusher and roll the dice on the underclassman.
8. BUFFALO: TAVON AUSTIN (WEST VIRGINIA)-Stevie Johnson, T.J. Graham and Austin will be a load to handle along with C.J. Spiller coming out of the backfield…now about that quarterback.
9. NEW YORK JETS: OT/OG CHANCE WARMACK (ALABAMA)-The Jets have a hole the size of Jupiter at right guard and it goes by the name of Vladimir Ducasse.
10. TENNESSEE: OG JONATHAN COOPER (NORTH CAROLINA)-Does anyone remember Kevin Mawae in his prime? Cooper has that type of athletic ability and you can line him up at center too.
11. SAN DIEGO: OT D.J. FLUKER (ALABAMA)- If the Bolts miss out on trading up for one of the big three at offensive tackle, they will settle for the pulverizing bookend with 36” arms and size-22 cleats.
12. MIAMI: CB XAVIER RHODES (FLORIDA STATE)-What better way to replace Sean Smith than with a physical corner with a Ph.D. in shutting down big receivers.
13. NEW YORK JETS: TE TYLER EIFERT (NOTRE DAME)-Dustin Keller, Johnny Mitchell and Kyle Brady all take a backseat to the graceful playmaker with pillow-soft hands.
14. CAROLINA: DT STAR LOTULELEI (UTAH)-Luke Kuechly will love playing behind the manhandling former Ute, who crushes opposing blockers like seedless grapes.
15. NEW ORLEANS: OLB JARVIS JONES (GEORGIA)-Quick hands don’t lie despite the poor 40 time.
16. ST. LOUIS: S KENNY VACCARO (TEXAS)-He’s no altar boy off the field, but you’re not going to find guys with his unique cover skills at Sunday mass.
17. PITTSBURGH: WR JUSTIN HUNTER (TENNESSEE)-The 6’4” game-breaker is the missing link in a wide receiver corps that features smaller inside weapons.
18. DALLAS: DT SHELDON RICHARDSON (MISSOURI)-His quickness off the snap is reminiscent of Warren Sapp and guess who used to coach the Hall-of-Famer? Monte Kiffin, the new defensive coordinator. Yes, we have a match.
19. NEW YORK GIANTS: DE BJOERN WERNER (FLORIDA STATE)-It’s Oktoberfest in Gotham, as Jerry Reese welcomes in the disruptive German with J.J. Watt-like skills to bat down passes.
20. CHICAGO: CB DESMOND TRUFANT (WASHINGTON)-The former Pac-12 defender definitely talks a good game, but the Bears will soon find out if he can cut the mustard against the NFC North’s towering receivers.
21. CINCINNATI: SS JONATHAN CYPRIEN (FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL)- Taylor Mays with a brain. The two words that best describe Cyprien are “seek” and “destroy.”
22. ST. LOUIS: WR DeANDRE HOPKINS (CLEMSON)-Smoother than fine Canadian whiskey when it comes to running routes and setting up defenders.
23. MINNESOTA: DT SYLVESTER WILLIAMS (NORTH CAROLINA)-A fine heir apparent to Kevin Williams, as long as he stays from the McDonald’s drive-thru.
24. INDIANAPOLIS: OT/OG JUSTIN PUGH (SYRACUSE)-No suit and tie needed for this Justin, as the Colts will soon fall in love with his ability to pull and trap.
25. MINNESOTA: LB ARTHUR BROWN (KANSAS STATE)-A complete package who can slip blocks, as well as drop back into coverage. Media people look on in shock, as Manti Te’o and his imaginary girlfriend continue to wait by the telephone.
26. GREEN BAY: DE DATONE JONES (UCLA)-There’s nothing cheesy about this pick. The former Bruin’s quick hands will soon remind fans of a young Roy Jones Jr…give or take 100 pounds.
27. HOUSTON: WR ROBERT WOODS (USC)-Has the toughness, hands and fluid running skills that remind some people of Reggie Wayne.
28. DENVER: DE EZEKIAL “ZIGGY” ANSAH (BYU)-John Elway lets out a Rocky Mountain sigh of relief when he sees the raw, but insanely gifted defender fall to him.
29. NEW ENGLAND: CB D.J. HAYDEN (HOUSTON)-The chowder will taste a little sweeter for Bill Belichick and company once they secure what many consider to be the best corner in the draft.
30. ATLANTA: CB JAMAR TAYLOR (BOISE STATE)-Scheme versatile cover corner who can tackle and hopefully give up fewer big plays than Dunta Robinson did once upon a time.
31. SAN FRANCISCO: TE ZACH ERTZ (STANFORD)-John Harbaugh can’t escape the thoughts of the Delanie Walker letting another touchdown go through his hands. Enter the “Big Z.”
32. BALTIMORE: ILB KEVIN MINTER (LSU)-The Minter pick sets off an argument between Te’o and his fictional main squeeze.
33. JAX: QB TYLER WILSON (ARKANSAS)
34. SF: S MATT ELAM (FLORIDA)
35. PHI: QB E.J. MANUEL (FLORIDA STATE)
36. DET: DE ALEX OKAFOR (TEX)
37. CIN: RB GIOVANI BERNARD (NORTH CAROLINA)
38. AZ: QB MIKE GLENNON (NC STATE)
39. NYJ: QB GENO SMITH (WEST VIRGINIA)
40. TEN: DE TANK CARRADINE (FSU)
41. BUF: QB RYAN NASSIB (SYRACUSE)
42. MIA: CB JOHNTHAN BANKS (MISSISSIPPI STATE)
43. TB: DE MARGUS HUNT (SMU)
44. CAR: OT/OG KYLE LONG (OREGON)
45. SD: OT TERRON ARMSTEAD (ARK-PINE BLUFF)
46. STL: RB EDDIE LACY (ALABAMA)
47. DAL: FS ERIC REID (LSU)
48. PIT: OLB DAMONTRE MOORE (TEXAS A&M)
49. NYG: OLB ALEC OGLETREE (GEORGIA)
50. CHI: DT KAWANN SHORT (PURDUE)
51. WAS: WR CORDARRELLE PATTERSON (TENNESSEE)
52. MIN: ILB MANTI TE’O (NOTRE DAME)
53. CIN: OT MENELIK WATSON (FSU)
54. MIA: DE SAM MONTGOMERY (LSU)
55. GB: TE VANCE McDONALD (RICE)
56. SEA: DT BRANDON WILLIAMS (MISSOURI SOUTHERN)
57. HOU: QB MATT BARKLEY (USC)
58. DEN: RB JONATHAN FRANKLIN (UCLA)
59. NE: WR KEENAN ALLEN (CALIFORNIA)
60. ATL: TE TRAVIS KELCE (CINCINNATI)
61. SF: WR MARKUS WHEATON (OREGON STATE)
62. BAL: C/OG TRAVIS FREDERICK (WISCONSIN)
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